Love? Yo no se...

Taylor Swift-Forever & Always-the piano version....OH MY GOODNESS it brings me to tears. can definitely relate to that song....DEFINITELY. "and flashback to when he said forever and always...back up baby back up" It just seems so crazy that for 7 years this one person had a sense of control and empowerment over me and i gave in and fell soooo hard sooo soo soo hard. i just can't believe how attached i was to one person..one person meant so much. Now i can admit that everyone around me was right. i just chose not to listen. Now it's over and it's so weird that someone who used to be my very best friend is now so distant. it's really sad it had to come to this but i don't know what else to do. Now that i'm in a new relationship with Aaron i'm honestly scared of falling. I'm afraid karma is gunna come back to get me and i'm gunna end up heartbroken and crushed. I'm afraid to give in and to put my heart out there. I've been hurt before and i really don't want to go down that road again. I'm afraid of the concept called "love" and being in love. Do i wanna love? yes. i'm just afraid i'll never love anyone again the way i loved him. it's ridiculous i know i know. I'm just scared. Maybe i have my guard up a bit. But i have my reasons for that. I guess what my dad did to my mom didn't help either. It's just hard to trust people these days. I wanna let him in. I do. I'm just afraid of getting hurt. Plus we barely started this relationship so i'm sure it'll just take time for me to break the walls down. Hoping for the best, i really am. I can give you the world and make you so happy but i expect the same in return. One little mess up and i'll be done i'll be sooooo done I swear.
I won't hurt you, so please don't hurt me.

hehe

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!???????????????/

In Pain

why does my stomach hurt? oh wait...cause it ALWAYS does. fuck this shit fuck this shit! maybe i'm pregnant. then i'll be on that TLC show "i didn't know i was pregnant" haha. No...there really is NO possible way i could be pregnant. Ate at Rascals today...SOOO GOOD. i had a teri chicken sandwich..UH-MAY-ZING! I really wanted PHO but B had just had that last night so i didn't wanna make her eat it again. Maybe i'll make BC get me some on friday. i miss him! glad he'll be allllllllllllllllllllllll mine on friday.<33333333333333333333333333333333333333
anyways. halloween on saturday. still don't know what i'm going to do. maybe just take the kiddos trick or treating. ok i obviously don't have anything interesting to blog about so i'll end this quick.
oh yeah...stef bef got a kitty....no comment
~Lee

WOOT WOOT!

Mom and dad bought mine, bry's, and emily's ticket to go see Taylor in Fresno in April....SOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!
Last night i handled business...make that ass see how i feel! i'm proud of myself!
Vegas next weekend...AY AY AY i can't wait for that either.
Me-"WAIT, do i need a passport?" hahahaha
Bry-" wow i am telling deb you just said that."
I should get my passport though if i wanna travel next year.
BC on friday YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY even though he's so vain and probably thinks this post is about him, about him.
Going home late late friday night. I'm looking forward to the Black and White dress to impress party cause i'mma be lookin GOoOoOoOd!
ok i better go get dressed for school now!
<3Laurita Diane

its monday

its monday
i'm tired
midterm tomorrow booo
i dont want a cat in the apt
pussy's are nasty
excuse my hoochie pic...or enjoy it ;)

GRRRR that's all i have to say GRRR
i'm an angry monster

WoOoOo

So last night was waaaay to specatucular, i MUST blog about it.
So yesterday was Daisy's parents wedding. Daisy is one of Emily's best friends. They go to the same school and are on the same softball team. So after traveling together a lot because of the softball tournaments they have, our parents have gotten to know Daisy's parents pretty well. The ceremony at the church started at 2. So mom of course did NOT want to miss that so the ladies all hurried up to be ready by 1:45. I wore my new dress i bought at Marshall's for TEN dollars when its original price was SIXTY! I looked purty good if i do say so myself. But then again so did my 2 sissies and my mom. We ALWAYS look good when we go out to fiestas haha. So we get to the church and take a seat towards the front. We;re waiting there for the ceremony to start and all of a sudden we hear a mariachi band start playing and the groom walks in with his 2 daughters. at this point i can feel my eyes tearing up...i look at bry, same thing going on with her. Weddings make me soooo emotional. after the groom came the bride with her 2 sons. it was really just a lovely ceremony. whenever a part came where we would typically sing, the mariachi band would start playing.it was great. my mom got all emotional when the couple recited their vowels mainly because it was hers and my dad's 22nd anniversary THAT SAME DAY! haha
So after the ceremony was over we still had 2 hours until the reception started and mother STILL hadn't bought them a gift so we decided to go do that instead. We headed over to the new MACY'S that just opened in Visalia. Oh man it was sooo crowded in there. Those Visalians were going crazy over this new Macy's. We didn't really see anything we liked so we headed over to JCPANTIES (penny) and mom found some cute picture frames there.I didn't help pick them out, i was too busy taking "myspace" pictures of myself in the tall mirrors haha. After we were done it was about 4 so we headed over to the place where the reception was being held at. We sat down and unfortunately made the mistake of picking a table next to a bunch of guys who SERIOUSLY looked like they had just come out of the Mexican TOOL ACADEMY. UGH UGH AND UGH. One of the guys sitting there however did not look tool-ish and i noticed he checked thithy and i out right as we sat down. and i'm not gunna lie, i was checking him out too because he was muy caliente. it was hard NOT to look at him considering the fact that he was sitting RIGHT in front of me. But i tried to control the urges to look remembering i now had BC and i knew BC was waaaay better then the tools right next to us. So instead of me lusting over him the whole night guess who did lust over him the whole night...that's right...BRY. haha OH WAIT too bad for Bry...HE WAS MARRIED...married with an impregnated wife. HHAHAHA
Anyways...shortly after arriving we were served with your typical GB fiesta food. Carne en caldo, arroz, y frijoles con tosino. AKA meat in soup( barbacoa), rice,and beans with bacon. Funny thing is i TOTALLY called it. So we ate the whole thing and i had 3 servings of beans since Frizz and Bry found them spicy. So GB of me...i know i know. Across the room were some more softball parents and kids who may i mention were all WHITE. After getting sick of sitting next to the TOOL ACADEMY daddy decided it was best for us to move away from them so we went to go join the WHITE table since mom and dad were all buddy buddy with them. So we sat there and thith and i enjoyed a few margaritas provided to us by mom and dad. you see, only GB's would freely give their kids alcohol. so as we're settling in to our new table this band walks in and starts playing their "BANDA" music all loud and a bunch of people run to the dance floor including my sis and i and as we're running bry looks at me and says "GOOD THING WE'RE DRUNK!" hahaha so we were out there dancing all GB and what not. then after a while we sat back down. so the rest of the night consisted of my family and i dancing our butts off. then one time my dad was soooo drunk he went off to the other side of the room and i was like WHAT IS DAD DOING OVER THERE.we just see him talking to some random GB guy in like a cowboy hat and boots. so we're like ok that's weird maybe he knows him but most likely not. so my mom finally goes over there to get him and it turns out that he mistook that table for ours so he was telling the GB guy to leave our table. and the Gb guy was getting all pissed so he goes to try and sock my dad in the stomach but my dad grabs his hand and shakes it instead HAHAHAHAHa. it would've been hilarious if we would've turned around to see my dad getting in a fight with some GB guy. OH also, dad was sooo drunk that he gave the groom a lap dance. so the bride and groom were sitting in the middle of the dance floor and girls were giving the bride lap dances and guys were giving the groom a lap dance and whos one of the first guys to do it...MY DAD OF COURSE. it was HI-LAR-I-OUS! What also was hilarious were the 2 white dudes at our table Mike and Ross who got sooo into the Gb dancing. oh man 2 white drunk men dancing...priceless! they'd be like WOOOOO let's GO FUCKING DANCE! so at one point dad and ross were dancing together. then there was this one song where the music just kept getting faster and faster and thithy and i kept zapatiandole faster and faster it was great!
OooOoO they also had the throwing of the bouquet. So naturally bry and i went to go try and catch it. dad was like "no, don't let laura go, please hold her back!" haha they made all the girls hold hands and run around and go under the brides dress. it was great. some dumb little fat girl ended up catching it though so it wasn't as great.
while dancing the girls were bouncing all over the place.i seriously almost came close to a few "nip slips" i'm sure the tool academy would've enjoyed that since they would not stop staring! there was also a lot of ass smackin goin on on the dance floor.it was really just a fun fun party. i danced my ass off and bry did too which surprises me because she NEVER used to dance at party's. after the party we went to uncle mikes for a bit. mom stayed home because she was being a PARTY POOPER! i sat with dad in the back on the way there and we had a heart to heart about my new relationship with O-RYAN/MARK/BC/PC/AARON. He got all emotional and cried. but he told me he accepted him in our house and that he was more than welcome to stay here fir the kelly concert. that made me really happy. i'm glad he's being supportive.
ok i'm tired of typing and GOBBY is waiting for me (ahahahahaha inside joke)

until next time!
L. Rod - JAI HO

It's Saturday

i like how i wake up singing..."cause i'm a mother lover, you're a mother lover, we should f each others mother, f each other's moooooms!" so now i'm listening to it. i just hope frizz doesn't walk in haha. OK so last night i fall asleep around like 12:47 or something random like that. So i'm sleeping pretty well until i wake up in the middle of the night...FREEZING! At this point all i had covering me was my amazing 300 thread count fuchsia sheet from IKEA and i figured it'd be enough. I'm trying not to use my comforter anymore because that wears and tears them. But i had to use it last night i was soooooooo cold. So i finally go back to bed. When i wake up this morning i walk out to the hallway to look at the A/C thing that tells the temp of the house and its freakin 74 degrees in here! freakin 74. and i haven't heard the AC come on at all. So it's just naturally 74? thats crazy to me. OK I"M OBSESSED with WATCHA SAY. I CANNOT stop singing it! oooo watcha say, oh that you only meant well, well of course you did! OK well i have to start gettting ready for the wedding.Imma be lookin hot in my new dress and little high heels i bought. PICS are a must today! YAY can't wait for today. To be honest, a few days ago i was not doing well AT ALL (emotionally) i honestly felt like just breaking down and crying. I think it was just a mixture of a lot of different things (fam,school, and a certain someone who tries to bring me down every single day) But i'm glad everything is resolved and i'm doing a lot better. OH DANG! what is it dog? i forgot it's mother's day! Don't mind me and my random side comments. SO my new coat from DELIAS came in...its amazing! i looove it. can't wait for it to be really cold so i can wear it. ok ok i gotta go now.i guess no punjabi today.
DESI FRESH!
LAURA

A beginner blogger

WOW. I haven't blogged since XANGA! That was so long ago.

I decided to re-start blogging because i figured it'd be a good idea to get all my thoughts and feelings out instead of keeping it all inside like i tend to do sometimes. Where to begin...

WELL i am back home in the valley...finally. It's been almost a month since I've been home. It's sooo good to be back to my house and my pretty room and my nice big comfy bed. So tomorrow is the big PACHANGA with Daisy's parents getting married and all. I must say i am very excited to indulge in delicious mexican food and some crazy GB dancing. I've missed it sooo much. Even though I may make a lot of jokes about GB's...i love my roots! GB's meaning ghetto beaners, of course. Sunday we shall partake in pumpkin carving and possibly the corn maze. What happened to Uncle Mike? I miss him. Last night Thith and i took an unplanned and very spontaneous trip to The Middle of Nowhere Hills (aka Chino Hills) to visit my C to end all C's (jessica darling reference...paul parpaliano) So thithy would NOT stop asking where he has and what he was doing. i really think she's warming up to him...even though she will deny this for days. She wanted to visit Chino and i wanted to see my boy so it really was a win/win for us. So we ended up going to see the midnight premiere of ASTRO BOY. Thithy was complaining the whole way there and WHAT HAPPENS...she ends up crying and really liking the movie..TY-PI-CAL! It actually was a really cute movie. OH and SHARON..BC's thith...SHE'S AWESOME! SOOO glad i got to meet her. I do wish however that the meeting with his parents wasn't so awkward. Well i guess it was going to be awkward no matter what considering the fact that it was like 1030 at night and they were all cozied up at stairs watching TV and my sister was there too. But they seemed like nice people overall. I'm sure next time i see them it will be for a longer time and not in the middle of the night haha. What i am looking forward too is BC meeting my parents...OH MAN CAN'T WAIT. I really should refer to him by his name but everyone knows him by BC now so BC it is and BC it shall be. haha DAD is going to FLIP. Well i guess i can understand though, he is my dad and i'm sure it's just natural for him to be jealous. I have no worries though, BC is great so it'll all go well. WOW so for my b-day/x-mas Thith and Deb decided to pay for my food and hotel when we go to Vegas after me almost opting out of going due to my finances that are running low due to my compulsive spending on clothes/food. I really can't believe they are doing that for me. AWWWW THEY LOOOOVE ME. Well i love them too...soo soo much! THE THREE AMIGAS FOREVERRRR! On another note, i really don't understand why no one new that i meet believes that i am solely mexican and nothing else. Ever since i moved to LONG BIZZLE and i meet someone new and they ask me what ethnicity i am and i tell them i'm mexican they can never believe it. It's so crazy to me. For example: today i was working with a girl named Mykail and for some reason my ethnicity came up. When i said i was mexican she looked at me with a shocked look on her face and said "really?" then i asked her to tell me what she thought i was and what did she say....MIDDLE EASTERN....OH EM GEE SOOOO TYPICAL! Not only did she say middle eastern, she and my other co-worker went on telling me all the possible ethnicities i could be and this is what they told me: Middle Eastern, Puerto Rican, Guatemalan, Dominican. OH and while they were going on about this a customer walks in and happens to over hear our conversation about "Ethnicities Laura looks like she is" (does that even make sense?) and he chimes in with "well i'd say you look more Cuban, and i'm Cuban so i know what they look like." So what do i do? I come home and Google: Cuban girls, Guatemalan girls, middle eastern girls...etc. haha. Then Nicole says "so basically you look like everything you're not." I don't know why this fascinates me so much but it does, especially since i've never really had anyone tell me that i didn't look mexican up until i came to LB (except for Ms. V my senior year who asked if i was middle eastern.) OK well that is all for tonight...my fingers are cramping up and i need to get a good night's sleep if i wanna be busting out my best moves on the dance floor tomorrow night.

Until next time!

Desi Laura (hahahaha maybe next time i'll write all my thoughts in punjabi!)